I have been sat here a while, with lots of stuff swimming in my head, what do I say? What can i do? I wish someone could make it all disappear and make it all better again.
Last night I felt strong, this morning I feel weak. Molly had me awake for half the night - I know she is feeling the tension and sadness in the air so now has resorted to not sleeping well - this happened when we first got Ava home the last time, I so wish I could make her life happy again - a wish I will make come true.
Today has been very very tough, I think I am still in shock over the news. How can my Beautiful baby girl not lead a normal life, how can she not be normal? She looks normal in every way shape and form. I have spent many hours just crying today. My breakthrough and ray of sunlight was my girls. Molly asked mamala - (Thats me, her mammy), and daddy to come and see what Molly has done. Our clever little girl had completed her 'Stage 1' jigsaws all by herself. We all went to maccy D's - big disappointment - for tea. When we got home I did Avas bath and bedtime. In that hour she laughed, giggled, squealed, smiled, held her hands together (For the very first time) and held her mammys gaze for an age as she fed on her bottle. I thought hope had abandoned me - in fact it was me who had abandoned hope. No longer. My little girl is a fighter, my little girl is special and most of all my little girl is mine and I refuse to believe she is not going to get through this. Lets keep climbing.
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